Ready for her closeup

Meet Alana!





Now, while Mommy is working on her photography skills and has yet to capture a picture of Alana where she doesn't look sad or angry, Tina at Life is a Highway Photography has mastered the art of taking newborn pictures!! Please check out her sneak preview of Alana and, if you would like, leave a comment after the photos (50 comments gets us a prize and 100 comments gets us a better prize!). I cannot wait to see the rest of the photos because I'm going to wear out my computer screen (if such a thing was possible) looking at the first one!

My daughter is a week old today!!!!

Oh, blog world, I am so very sorry that I have let a whole week go by without announcing the birth of the love of my life!! For some reason, I was unable to get online at the hospital, even though they have wireless, and with other things going on, I just wasn't able to troubleshoot it.

Alana Anna Aaryn M(lastname) was born on Wednesday, 12/9, at 12:25 in the afternoon via c-section. There is no way I could adequately put into words what I felt at that moment, so, I won't even try, at least not today when I'm a ball of hormones. Let's just say that it's like nothing I ever knew possible!

We ended up spending an extra night in the hospital for two reasons. The blood pressure issues I had in the weeks leading up to delivery continued after and, in fact, got worse. I was constantly monitored for preeclampsia, but, in the words of the doctor, on paper, I was perfect. All of my results were, not just good, but perfect. I just have this moderately high pressure that they can't seem to get completely under control. I'm under the care of a hypertension doctor now and they have adjusted my medicine a couple of times and we're watching it very closely.

But, having the spend an extra night in the hospital was actually a blessing in disguise because, the night before we were supposed to leave, Alana developed a fever and was sent to the NICU. Imagine how scary it is when a doctor comes into your room at 3:00am and tells you that your perfectly healthy baby has a fever, is being taken to the NICU for testing, and may need a spinal tap! Thankfully, by the time they admitted her to the NICU, her fever had dropped and never went high again. All of her test results came back normal, no spinal tap was needed, and they think the high reading could have just been a fluke.

They told me she would have to stay for 48 hours after being admitted, which would have been Tuesday, while I was going to be released Monday. I know it would have only been one night, but, the thought of leaving without her was devastating. But, thanks to a wonderful NICU pediatrician who stayed on top of all of her negative test results, she was released with me and we came home Monday night!!!

Yesterday was a whirlwind, so, today is really the first day I've had time to get online and post. I hope you'll all forgive me and I promise to get a couple of pictures up very very soon!!! She is so incredibly gorgeous and I am more in love than I ever knew possible!

Every single time Glenn and I walked out of a hospital over the last four years, and sadly, there have been way too many times, I said to him "next time we walk out of a hospital, we should be bringing home our baby". It didn't happen for a very long time, but, Monday night, I finally walked out of a hospital with my baby....and, after seeing her for the first time, it was one of the most emotional moments of my life!!!

The Final Countdown

After three trips to L&D for extended monitoring, and three trips back home without the baby, the time has finally arrived!

I am having a baby tomorrow!

OK, I have a perinatologist appointment in an hour and will likely be sent for monitoring because my blood pressure is still really high. The big question is whether they will keep me and deliver today, keep me and deliver, as scheduled, tomorrow, or send me home like every other time. So, yes, there is a chance I'll have the baby today, but, if not, I am having a baby tomorrow!!!!

I have so much I want to say, but, I'm going to save it until after she is here and we are both safe and, G-d willing, healthy.

So, stay tuned!!!

Bedrest in the middle ages

So, I've been on bedrest for a week and a half now. And, honestly, it hasn't been awful, although I can't imagine how people do it for months! Then today happened. We lost our power around 6:30 this morning. That meant no TV, no phones (can't find the non-cordless phone), and no internet. Plus, because of the high BP induced headache, it was putting a little too much strain on my eyes to try to read, so, I couldn't do that, either. So, what did I do? I went back to sleep! Nice!!

Spoke to Glenn on my cell at 9. Checked email, etc... Around 10:00, I noticed that my cells (both personal and work) weren't working, either!!

So, I had no contact, whatsoever, with the outside world!!!! Thankfully, the power came back around 12:30. Whew!!!!

In other news, we had another false alarm this week. I saw the MFM on Tuesday for my weekly stress test and ultrasound. They had a very hard time keeping this kid on monitor and, when they got her, it seemed as if her heart rate was dropping very low. So, back over to the PET unit for monitoring I went. The doctor told me not to eat anything, thinking this would probably be it. And, why not?! I was 38 weeks exactly. My little monster was estimated to be 8lbs 11ozs! I'm still struggling with the blood pressure issues. And, now this. Just felt like time, right?!

Nope. They proceeded to hook me up and, for 2+ hours, the baby looked, as they put it, "gorgeous". So, once again, I was released on bedrest. Ugh!! I want this baby out of me!!!!

Yesterday, my BP was tracking high even when laying down. I had an OB appointment in the afternoon and the doctor didn't want to send me over for monitoring again, so, she decided to increase my meds a bit and I have to go back for a BP check tomorrow. It's still tracking on the higher side today, so, we'll see what happens. At this point, I'm just looking at my scheduled date of 12/9 and if they decide to deliver her sooner we'll just be very pleasantly surprised.

We are ALL so very ready!!!!! Oh, except for the baby, who seems to be very happy and content inside of me!

What I'm most thankful for this year

This time, last year, our 7th IVF failed. It may, possibly, have been the lowest point in my life. We decided to go for a 4th opinion, to CCRM, but couldn't schedule the phone consult until January. The end of 2008 was just such a low time.

Then, after 3 terrible years of terrible things happening in our families, along came 2009. First of all, we finally sold our house in early January, after 16 months on the market, and bought our forever house. Then, we had our CCRM phone consult, where we were told that we had done everything there was to do and there was nothing else to try and we should re-consider DE (which we had previously considered).

Now, some might think that was a bad message, but, in a bizarre way, it wasn't. Through the graces of G-d, I was finally ready to hear that message. That's not to say that the decision to use DE was easy or that I won't always wonder if "just one more" might have been the IVF that would have produced my genetic child.

But, I truly could not be more thankful today to G-d for helping me make that very difficult decision, maybe the most difficult one of my life, but the very decision that has directly resulted in the incredible joy of feeling this baby dancing inside of me, days away from, through his grace, joining us on the outside!

Things are picking up around here

Unfortunately, it's my blood pressure that has been picking up......

Started Sunday night. I've been checking my pressure 4x a day since May. Suddenly, Sunday night, it went way, way up. It was still really high Monday morning, so, I called the OB, went in, and it was still high in the office. So, they sent me to the hospital for monitoring. Everyone - the OB I saw that morning, the OB I saw in the hospital, the nurses, Glenn and I - everyone thought I was going to be admitted and have the baby today. Surprise! When they hooked me up, my BP's were back to normal!

They did, however, find some protein in my urine. So, they sent me home, on bedrest, and doing a 24 hour urine collection.

I had a perinatologist appointment this morning and my BP's were high again, but, when I laid down, they come down, so, as long as they are low when I'm laying, they are not ready to make the delivery decision.

However, all of the doctors agree that, since we are 37 weeks today (full term!!!), if there is any reason to move forward, it's a no-brainer and we still think there's a strong possibility it could happen this week. It's really going to come down to what my 24 hour urine collection shows tomorrow. I'm fairly certain it's going to show protein. I pounded water before I got to the doctor today, so, when I produced a sample, it was really light and there was no protein, but, I think that's because it processed through me fast. Before leaving the office, I had to go and collected it because I needed it for my jug. Since I had already collected it, I decided to dip it while I was still in the bathroom and it did show a trace of protein. So, I'm pretty sure the whole sample will show some. IF it does, and if it's enough, I'm fairly certain they'll bring me in and deliver me this week, maybe even on Thanksgiving!

This is all "maybe", but, well, we're all ready to just meet this baby already, so, a girl can hope, can't she?!

Separation Anxiety

First of all, I want to thank everyone for your comments on my last post!! I've really missed you all and you all made me feel so happy to be back!!!

As we get closer and closer to our due date, I find myself feeling wistful and sad at the thought of not being pregnant anymore. I absolutely cannot wait for this little girl to be here, and, in many ways, can't relax until she is here and I know she safe and healthy. But, I have truly enjoyed being pregnant. I love the little secret world that only she and I live in, where she tells me when she's awake, hungry, enjoying the munchkins I'm eating, etc....! Part of me isn't ready to share that with anyone else. Plus, poor thing, I feel bad that she has to go from munchkins to formula!!

But, that's not the only separation anxiety I'm dealing with. Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. Basically, my pelvic bones are separating, causing pain when my legs are uneven, such as walking, climbing stairs, getting in and out of the car, turning over in bed, etc.... Honestly, it's not too bad, more annoying. I started maternity leave this past Tuesday (yea!!!!) and, how ironic, that's the day this was diagnosed. I have a bunch of things - both inside and outside the house - I'm trying to get done, and this is just making it all a little more difficult.

But, it's really not too bad, at least not yet, and, I'm so close to delivering that, hopefully, it won't have time to get really bad!

The most important thing is that it, in now way, impacts the baby. She's doing great!!! The doctor this week said that she's so happy in there that she might come out in April, maybe May! But, she's getting ready. When they check my cervix (which isn't doing anything yet), they tell me that they can feel her head. Her head!!! We're just in a waiting game now!