I sent a long email to my girlfriends yesterday about how angry I am right now. I can't believe how starting this blog last night has helped me to channel that anger!! But, before moving forward, I want to elaborate a bit on what's happened, for anyone who doesn't know about our last couple of years. My hope is that getting it out, writing it down, will let me move past it and, hopefully, I'll have happy things to post going forward (OK, a girl can hope, can't she?)!
My infertility cycle history is listed to the right. As anyone who has gone through any infertility treatments knows, to limit the description of a cycle to 8-10 words is doing it such a disservice. The emotions you go through would fill this page! But, that's my history, my past, at least for now. As we decide what to do in the future (cycle again?), I'll go into more of those feelings and emotions.
So, what else has happened that led to such anger. I'll try to keep it brief!
During IVF #1 - our 9 year old nephew was in the hospital and diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and my dad was in the hospital where they found blocked arteries and performed angioplasty.
During IVF #2/IUI #1 - my mother was admitted to the hospital in complete renal failure. It was a terrible week. She now goes for dialysis 3x a week and will soon be on the kidney transplant waitlist.
During the preparation for IVF #3 (we had hoped to start, but, my body stopped ovulating) - my wonderful uncle, who we were extremely close with, lost his year long battle to leukemia. It had been a long year, with many hospital stays (including one for a whole month). This was the first eulogy I gave in 2007.
During IVF #3 - Glenn's dear uncle passed away after his several month long battle with cancer.
During IVF #4 - we put our house on the market. Six months later, it's still on, with no offer in sight.
During my miscarriage - my dad was back in the hospital for unexplained internal bleeding. Thankfully it stopped and, although he continues to go for tests, we're hoping it's nothing serious.
Right after my miscarriage - 3.5 weeks after my D&C, my wonderful grandmother passed away (eulogy #2). While it certainly wasn't a shock, it was quite unexpected.
During IVF #5 - The hardest of them all. Towards the end of my two week wait after IVF #5, Glenn had a heart attack. It happened at 11:00 at night. We went to the hospital by ambulance where they confirmed he was having a heart attack and he was rushed into the cath lab, where an emergency angioplasty was performed. Thank G-d he was OK! But, while he was still in the ICU recovering, I had to go for the bloodwork to confirm that IVF #5 was a bust. Glenn had to have another angioplasty performed two weeks after getting out of the hospital, but, all went well and he (and we) are on the mend!
Whew!! Glad that's all done - it was quite therapeutic!! Now I feel like I can say "the past is past" and I'm ready to move on and hope for better times!