Sunday, March 16, 2008

Mind Games

It's funny how the mind can play games on you. Even when you know something can't be true, the mind still, somehow, lets you believe there's a possibility. There is no way I can be pregnant this month. None. Nada. Negative. Can't possibly be, trust me, Glenn's heart attack means nothing happened this month that could result in pregnancy!

Yet, each day that goes by, my mind thinks, hmmm, maybe they were wrong. Maybe that last IVF really did work and, even though the beta was negative, well, maybe it was just a late implanter. Maybe it floated around in there for weeks and just now decided to grow. Maybe I'm an anomaly of science and all that the medical world knows about how pregnancy starts was wrong......

OK, OK, back to reality. I know it's not true. I know it can't be. There's just no way.

BUT, wouldn't it be wonderful..............

In other news, I needed something new, something fresh. So, I let my stylist color my hair this funky new color yesterday. It's a darker brown than what I've had, called Brown Chili Pepper, and it has these red, really red, streaks through it. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but, I straightened my hair today and I think I LOVE it!! Those who know me know that major hair color changes are extremely daring for me! Like I said, time for a change. Yea, me!!

5 comments:

The Infertile Mommy said...

Stop thinking negatively. That's what I did...and even though I was right....I really don't think it's the way to go. I completely understand that expecting the worst is easiest when you do get a negative....but you need to remain hopeful. In the meantime, you should do something daring like a new hair color. It'll make you feel better. Believe me I completely understand how you feel. I've been there...and truly am still there.

I hope to God..that you soon have your little baby.

Ariella said...

I would love to see the new hair pics!

mrsgingergrl said...

I do the same thing Lisa. There is absolutely ZERO chance of me being PG but I still frequently think something could be a 'sign' of it... then I catch myself. I think we got so used to reading our bodies, analyzing every little twinge, it just never really stops.

I want to see the hair, I bet it looks awesome. I love changing up the hair, always perks me up. :)

The Town Criers said...

Congratulations on the hair change!

Michelle said...

I am always thinking I'm pregnant, even though I know there isn't a chance.

I would love to see a picture of the hair! I bet it looks great!!