IVF #7 is over.
My brain hurts. There are so many thoughts swirling around in there but most of them aren't real cogent yet. I'll address them as they present themselves. I wonder if this is my brain's way of protecting me from too much pain at once? I wish there was something similar to protect my heart and my soul.....
I have failed. I don't know why, but, people really get upset with me when I say that. But, it's true. I have failed. The objective is/was to have a baby. I don't have a baby. I have failed. If I haven't failed, who has?
Has science failed me?
Have the doctors failed me?
Has G-d failed me?
I guess it doesn't matter. I can't change science. I can't change G-d. I can change doctors again and that's one of those spinning thoughts that will fly out of my head at some point.
I do know that I have done everything in my power to try to make this work, but, that doesn't change anything. I am dying inside.