Thursday, December 11, 2008

Bad girl!

I am slapping my own wrists, spanking my own tushie (OK, maybe I'll let Glenn do that one!), and sending myself to bed without supper. I've been a really bad girl!

What, you may be wondering, could I have done that is so bad that I'm willing to forego the yummy homemade pizza I'm planning to make tonight??

Ok, here goes. I've become a really bad communicator. There, I said it. It's out there now and I can't take it back!

I don't know why. Everytime I get an email that I want to respond to, I Star it, with intentions of coming back and responding. These include messages from friends, notifications of absolutely amazing comments from some of you on earlier blog posts, or messages on Facebook. If you could only see how any starred messages I have in my inbox you'd laugh! Add to that the 50 some-odd blog posts that were unread in my Google Reader until this morning and the fact that I haven't even posted on my own blog in a week and a half and you may see where this confession is heading.

I'm sorry for all of the un-responded to posts and messages! I read everything. I cry with you all and rejoice with you all. I continue to be marveled by the support and encouragement I receive here, on the nest, on facebook, and in person.

Thank you for the amazing comments about my family history. Thank you for the words of understanding about why the egg decision is so difficult for me. Thank you for the encouragement that the best parts of what makes a family a family will be passed on, regardless of whether or not donor eggs are used. Thank you for the image that has formed in my head from the words "branches can be also strengthened and continue to grow with a graft" (Selmada - I think about what you wrote every single day!).

Oh, and to a certain family member who reads this blog (and, hopefully knows I'm talking to her), thank you for always wanting to know what's going on with my treatments and understanding why the genetics thing is so overwhelmingly difficult. Not everyone understands that like you do.

Mostly, thank you all for being a part of my world and letting me share a part of yours.

Phew, now that I've duly punished myself and, hopefully, made retribution, I feel absolved of my sins and ready to move forward and be a good communicator once again! Hmm, while not a part of Judaism, this confession thing feels pretty darn good!!

Now, can I have the pizza tonight?? ;-)


Christi said...

Definitely, go eat your pizza! sounds yummy

the Babychaser: said...

Sometimes we just need to retreat into our nest, shut out the world, and lick our wounds. (I'm pretty sure that's a hideous mixed metaphor.) Periods of hibernation are part of the whole IF cycle, so don't self-flaggelate too much over it. And for god's sake, go eat some pizza!

Dagny said...

YAY! You are back!!!!!


shiner said...

Just glad you are okay. I hope you have made peace with your decision.

Emily said...

Welcome back and NO apologies. We have all been there...

You have been missed!

~Jess said...

Yes, you may have pizza (which sounds delicious by the way...I think I may have to have some today).

Like babychaser said...we all have moments when we just need to hole-up for a bit.

Anonymous said...

I hope you enjoyed your pizza ;)

Anonymous said...

Have you seen this site? They are a couple who did IVF five times and they did not work so they traveled to Denver to do IVF, and they are pregnant with TRIPLETS!!

Good luck, keep the faith!

In Due Time said...

Yum, Pizza!

Hope you have a Merry Christmas.


Liddy said...

I hope you enjoyed the pizza!

I just wanted to let you know that I loved your comment:

Mostly, thank you all for being a part of my world and letting me share a part of yours.

It reminded me of why I love the blogsphere.


Andrea said...

Yes, you must definitely have the pizza! As someone who will probably be using DE as well, I totally understand mourning the genetic loss to your child. But, they will still be your biologically in that YOU gave them life and gave birth to them. ((HUgS))

White Picket Fences said...

Here from ICLW ..

Just thought I'd share part of my family story ..My aunt was unable to have children ..and ended up adopting 2 from paraguay ...their entire childhoods we've compared body parts ..I can't tell you how many times the girls would run to my mom and show them their foot ..laugh ...eyebrow ..that looks like hers. And they do. I think that however children come to us ...they are ours. What needs to be passed on Is passed on...through DNA or love gets to them.

I vote for pizza. Lots of it.

Mama Bear said...

first - hello! can't wait to read more on your blog-- sounds like you have some major decisions to make on the ttc front - ((hugs)) i know how that feels - as an amom i used to think I would have an issue without that genetic link and honestly I just could not imagine my family now any other way- ok and the pizza sounds yummy!

Kara said...

This is the second blog where someone has mentioned pizza and now my mouth is really watering for it.

I have a difficult time with my google reader and can appreciate where you are coming from.

Have a happy holiday!

Beautiful Mess said...

Hope your doing well, haven't heard from ya in awhile.