Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Helping Make Sense

Everything was great at my ultrasound yesterday! We immediately saw that little heart beating (clocked at 176bpm) and our little baby measured at 8w6d, so, I'm officially 9 weeks today! About my lack of symptoms, the doctor simply said, "Enjoy", which I will start doing. She said that everything is wonderful and, in fact, she could see the baby moving, although, I'll admit, I didn't. I've been taken off the estradiol and the PIO (no more shots - oh, my tush is so grateful!) and begin the prometrium vaginal suppositories 4x a day (on second thought, I'd rather stay on the shots). One more blood level check on Thursday and I'll officially be released!

But, don't worry, I don't have to wait long.......OB appointment is next Tuesday!

So, it's probably about that time to ask the big question - what should become of this blog? In the year and a half or so that I've been reading blogs, I have seen so many infertile women become pregnant and then question what they should do with their blogs? Should they become pregnancy blogs, as that is what is currently going on in their lives? Should they leave their infertility blogs intact, writing when they feel like it, and start a new pregnancy blog?

Here's the thing. I'm not struggling with this question. Yes, I am pregnant, but, I, in no way, feel like I am out of the trenches of infertility. I once watched a program about war refugees and, 40 years after the war ended, they still said that they felt like war refugees. I think that's how I feel. Infertility will always be a part of my life. I think this is even more the case since my child will be the product of donor egg. It isn't as though I went through a standard ART procedure to conceive, but, once conception occurred, the pregnancy was like any other. Donor egg, or more specifically, the child created from that donor egg, will always be a part of my life and often be something I'll have to be aware of. And, I'm absolutely fine with this, but, do recognize that it will always be there.

My point is that I don't really feel like my blog is shifting from one that focused on infertility to one that relishes in the joy of pregnancy. It simply has a new area on which I will likely be writing - a new topic to add to the list of those I expect to continue writing about - infertility included.

I guess I have to go back to why I originally started this blog and why I called it "Helping Make Sense" (and, yes, I have struggled with the grammar of that title...). I wanted someplace to write, someplace to explore what I was going through, in the hopes that through personal expression and insightful and supportive comments (if anyone decided to read and comment - no blogger knows when they first start out if that will happen) I would be able to work through challenges and enjoy successes.

I've gotten that, and so much more, and hope you'll all stick around!!


Michele said...

I think our blogs are about who we are and where on the journey we are. Today, you are here. Tomorrow, you will be there. And so on and so forth. It always makes me sad when people stop their blogs because they feel like they've evolved beyond them.

Congrats on your u/s! That is wonderful!!!

Polly Gamwich said...

I'm sticking around!! I started my blog as a way for friends to keep up with me - little did I know that our story would turn into such a dramatic and long suffering one.

I will stick by - it's also good to see positive outcomes of infertility. We need to celebrate however this gets resolved for each of us.

Christi said...

I'm sticking around, can't wait to see this miracle!

Cathy said...

I stayed on the PIO - I wanted no part of suppos! I stayed on them until week 12. I felt them until about week 20 or so... every time I ran for the train my butt would tingle from all the bruises!

My OB thought I was bad-ass for continuing with them... I'm sure he was laughing at me when I asked for my epi when I checked in and was only 1/2cm dilated!

~Jess said...

Having used donor sperm, I completely understand the concept of never leaving the trenches...for anyone who used donor gametes, we'll ALWAYS be dealing with infertility's issues.

I plan on keeping my blog the same as I always have about ME (whatever that encompasses).

I'm glad your appt went well.

IVF 40+ said...

i'll be here. hopefully following in your footsteps so i am eager to hear what is going on

congrats on your graduation off shots - and ...your putting what where how many times a day!!

Beautiful Mess said...

I'm SO happy for you! Happy 9 weeks! Do what you feel is right with your blog. The people who read, love you and care about you. Congrats again!

nishkanu said...

Very happy for you, and looking forward to reading what comes next.

Tori Kropp RN said...

Congratulations and I want to thank you for having your blog. I, too have experienced infertility as well difficult pregnancy losses. The support we give to one another using this amazing medium is invaluable. Your blog will shift and move as life does but you have friends and connections that don't change.

I have written a book called The Joy of Pregnancy which I hope you might find helpful. I too write a blog at www.thejoyofpregnancy.com. I wish you all the wonder and love on your new adventure.

Warmly, Tori Kropp, RN

devonmarie said...

I think that our blogs are who we are, and we should blog about what is happening in OUR lives, not about what someone else wants to hear.

Of course, I haven't been pregnant, and I don't have many readers, but I think that it's good for people to see that there can be an end to the struggle to conceive no matter which path to that end is chosen.

Someday I may get pregnant, BUT I will ALWAYS be infertile, It's a part of who I am. These last 2 1/2 years and a diagnosis of POF at 30 has done that. A baby won't change that.

Congrats on your little miracle, I'll be reading, as I am planning a donor cycle and seek others that have chosen that path.

stillhopeful said...

I'll certainly continue to read - you're like my two week forecast! And I agree with the other comments, we started these blogs to express ourselves, and I think having that avenue of expression is still important in all phases of our lives.

And congrats on a great u/s - I'm so excited for you!

Dagny said...

I'm very happy to hear things are going well.

I'll be watching from the sidelines and cheering you on.

Sometimes it may be too hard for me to respond, but know I wish you all the best always.


Wishing 4 One said...

I am so here. You have been a great support for so many of us and you just have to stick around too and let us help you make sense. xoxoxoxoxo

Soapchick said...

I hope you keep your blog and just let it evolve as your life evolves. Glad you are feeling well.

Linda said...

Well I for one will be sticking around!