Sunday, March 23, 2008

Sisterhood

First, to those who celebrate, Happy Easter! Enjoy your holiday!

OK, I finally read the Jennifer Lopez article this morning. There's lots of talk (angry talk) on the infertility boards about how she's lying when she says that she didn't do IVF and got pregnant, in her words, "naturally". My opinion? I wasn't in her uterus. I have no idea whether egg and sperm met in her fallopian tube or in a a petri dish. And, honestly, I don't care. While I do agree that a "celebrity" has an opportunity to take a stand on infertility, it is not his or her obligation to do so. I have chosen to be very open about my struggles. Not everybody has to make that same choice.

Now, that said, she did say some things that I take exception to - "I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I knew that I could. Deep down, I really wanted it badly". Um, ok, maybe I just haven't wanted it badly enough......hmm, tell that to all of the needle holes in my body and tracks of tears down my face.

Anyway, this got me thinking about all of us going through this. Financial status. Age. Social status. Profession. Religion. Geography. Those of us who share our stories and gain strength through one another don't care about any of those things. The woman who pays out of pocket doesn't feel worse than the woman with insurance. The New Yorker doesn't feel any more pain than the woman from Boise. The 28 year old isn't having an easier time with her struggle than the 37 year old. We are all struggling. We all own our struggles. To each of us, our situation is the worst because, well, because it's ours, but, that doesn't preclude us from understanding there are other women struggling with their own realities.

We have a bond, one that those not dealing with infertility can't fully appreciate. A sisterhood. And, although we wish nobody had to be a card-carrying member of this sisterhood, we welcome, with open arms, all who want to discuss, query, share, sympathize, listen, and help. Even celebrities.

3 comments:

The Infertile Mommy said...

AMEN!!! Well said. I also read bits and pieces of the J-Lo article...and I was a bit annoyed on that quote as well. What can you do? As far as the IF club....you are soooo right. Everything you said. You are a wonderful and strong person. In time, you will have your baby.....I just wish it was sooner rather than later. Good luck to you! I'm always thinking about you.

Sandy said...

Well Said Lisa! You're such and amazing women and i'm happy to call you my sister. Hugs,
Sandu

Rachel said...

That was so well put Lisa! You're absolutly right it is a sisterhood and I honestly don't think I could have gone though all of it without you guys (the yahoo group). The support that group gives is amazing...I am so glad I am able to be part of it.