I'm having a really rough day.
Glenn has pneumonia. Thankfully it was caught early and thankfully it didn't turn out to be something worse (not that pneumonia is anything to sneeze at). In reality, with all the stuff that keeps happening to us, this is really just a little blip, but, somehow, it caused me to spiral into a pit of self-pity today.
I don't even think it's the actual pneumonia. It was the scare again this morning, the seeing Glenn scared, the not knowing what it might be, the ride to the ER, the running through his medical history and the list of all of the meds he takes with yet another doctor, the EKG's and other tests, etc....
I think I was OK until they told us there was no congestive heart failure, only pneumonia, and told us we could go home, after IV antibiotics, a prescription, and a warning of what to watch out for. I'm struggling between being grateful that it wasn't something worse and falling deeper into this abyss of self-pity. I really do try to look for the positive, but, really, I have to ask, why does this stuff keep happening to us? I'm just tired - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I feel like I have nothing left in me to give to anyone else. And, constantly waiting for that next shoe to drop certainly doesn't help, especially when you have some fears already about what the next shoe might possibly be.
I haven't talked about this yet, but, in addition to the infertility stuff, I have another medical thing of my own going on. I have to see a specialist and have some tests and, once I know more, I'll fill you all in.
So, I guess the pneumonia was the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. That poor camel has carried a lot of weight for us the last few years (here's a rundown, if you're new to reading here). He needs a break. I think we both do.