One year ago. It was one year ago, around 11:30 pm or so, that Glenn woke me up saying he was having trouble breathing. He was cold and clammy and sweating and couldn't calm down. I just knew that he was having a heart attack, despite the fact that he felt no chest pain.
In all fairness, I had warning signs. I had been out of town on business that week. Glenn told me that he was having some pain in his arm when he was active, but, he thought it was muscular. I finally convinced him to call his doctor (I think the name Dr. Clueless fits best), who, stupidly, we trusted. Dr. Clueless told him to "keep an eye on it".
And, this is where my guilt starts. I don't think I could have done anything different, but, the reality is that I was working extremely long hours on this business trip and caught up in my own thing. Glenn couldn't tell me specifically what the pain was and so I just let him deal with it.
I got home late Thursday night and had to drive back to Pennsylvania Friday morning to deliver something to a VP. I was utterly exhausted, but rushed back home because Dr. Clueless was going to see Glenn at 1:30. He did an EKG and said everything was fine. Glenn kept saying that the arm pain got bad when he was active. He even got up and did a little dance to try to show him. What did Dr. Clueless do? He sent us to the hospital for a shoulder x-ray, saying that he thought it was muscular but wanted to rule out a bone issue.
Obviously, the problem was not with his shoulder. We got home from the hospital around 6:00 and, a mere five hours later, my husband suffered a heart attack while sitting on the couch watching TV. We spent the next 3 days in the ICU. In fact, I was sitting in the waiting room of the ICU when I got the call that IVF #5 was negative.
It was about a month after all of this that I started this blog, so, you all know the rest - the follow-up angioplasties, the 6th and 7th IVF's.....
2008 was a pretty rotten year for us. So far, though, 2009 is looking much brighter. But, even if everything doesn't go our way, I still have the love of my life by my side and, at least today, on the anniversary of his heart attack, that is more than I could ever ask for!