For the most part, I've stopped feeling anything tangible. I do still have sore boobs (although I think they are not as sore as they were a week ago), but, I'm not feeling any kind of cramping anymore and I've even stopped feeling exhausted in the afternoon. I really really really do know that it's totally normal not to feel anything, but, little symptoms certainly make it easier to believe that things are continuing as you so very much hope and pray they are.
So, for now, I keep praying and trying to keep the faith that I still have a healthy, growing baby and I'll keep repeating the mantra of my beloved New York Mets:
You gotta believe
You gotta believe
You gotta believe
(but I'm glad I get to go for another ultrasound on Monday!)
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I've come to the realization that having faith means you have to accept that you may never know "why" things happen. Well, it ain't easy! So, my hope is that writing about my feelings will help me make as much sense of life as I can!
About Me
- Lisa
- New Jersey
- Hi, thanks for visiting! I'm very open about my long struggle with infertility. My theory is that, by putting yourself out there, you can help others and learn from anyone willing to open up to you! So, feel free to ask me anything you want and tell me about your experiences!
Hey, I'd like to follow along!
Infertility History
- Here's a high-level account of our cycle history. I can elaborate on any of these steps if anyone has any questions (i.e., over-supressing due to drug mistake, my acupuncture experience, the process of getting on the egg donor list, etc...)
- May '06 - First met with RE
- August '06 - IVF #1, antagon protocol, PREGNANT, ectopic resolved with methotrexate
- October '06 - IVF #2, microflare protocol, medication error, over-supressed, converted to IUI #1, negative, diagnosed with Ovarian Reserve Issues
- January '07 - started acupuncture, body stopped ovulating for 2.5 months
- March '07 - IVF #3, microflare protocol, cancelled due to lack of production, stopped acupuncture
- April '07 - Went for second opinion. Doctor concurred with diagnosis and treatment recommendations of first clinic
- May '07 - Passed donor prep cycle, put our names on the egg donor list (matched twice during IVF #4 but we declined since we got pregnant)
- August '07 - IUI #2 (not enough eggs to do IVF), straight Follistim, negative
- September/October '07 - IVF #4, straight Follistim, PREGNANT, m/c at 7 weeks, D&C
- Feb' 08 - IVF #5, straight Follistim, negative
- May '08 - Met with a new RE and put a gameplan in place to do IVF #6 in August!
- August '08 - IVF #6, Estrogen Priming protocol, only produced 1 follicle, converted to IUI #3, negative
- October '08 - IVF #7, co-flare protocol, negative
- January '09 - phone consultation with THE expert. He validated that we'd done every protocol and technique and should move on to donor egg
- February '09 - matched and accepted egg donor. Preparing for DE IVF...
- March '09 - DE cycle, 23 eggs retrieved, 3 embryos transferred, 1 frozen
- April '09 - pregnant! 2 sacs seen, but, only one developed
- December '09 - our beautiful daughter was born, making us a family of three!
- And, just to complete the picture, some of the other things that happened during our IF struggle
9 comments:
I SO love your mantra. I need to adopt that mantra as well. It's so easy to question everything. But, sometimes you just gotta go with the flow and believe.
Awesome advice! Take care!
xoxo
Counting down til Monday! :)
I know exactly what you mean! I have the exact same (lack of) symptoms and it's nerve-racking! My girlfriend who's 2 weeks ahead of me throws up every day and how crazy is it that I'm envious of that?!?!?!
But you are right - just gotta believe... no other choice, really!
Thanks for the post on my blog, definitely reassuring. And good luck to you on Monday. And... Happy Mother's Day!
Reading your post makes me feel not alone! I did IVF back in November and am due this August and I had absolutely NO systems other than being tired. I peed on a digital stick once a day for a month, I swear, until my husband said enough & it they're not cheap! But I think that is God's way of being nice to us after all we've been through - we deserve a nice, non-puking pregancy, so enjoy it - you deserve it!!
Believe it, hon! Happy belated birthday!
*HUGS*
I love your mantra, even though I'm not sure what it is that that belief is in.
Hope Monday comes soon and you are reassured.
LIsa i'm thinking of you today! Keep on believing because you are so PG!! I also didn't have symptoms by the tim ei was 8 weeks.
I'm gonna tell you what I told Sandra - I went through this too. I think the title of my blog post is "I Feel Nothing". Then the next day or so it is "Yay, I Feel Like Shit Again". Sorry for the language but sometimes feeling nothing is normal.
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